Many steps on mama Earth: From countrygirl back to citygirl

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Well, what can I say….

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My bag has been packed, my car has been sold, and I am ready. Below you can read my little reflection on the past year.

I learned many wonderful things during my stay here: about life, about myself and about others, and about New Zealand... It was a wonderful year. All of my questions that I left the Netherlands with have been answered, and even more..

I feel very grateful for the wonderful people I met. Thank you Joel, Kenyon, Gavin, Dave, Dafydd, Libby, Dave, Michael, Mechy, Arthur, Willi, Vicky, Simon, Phil, David, Merijn, Maurus, Bert, Alexander, Marelize, Jess, Betty, Jim, Nick, Mary and others for sharing, your lives, wisdom and stories with me..

I also feel grateful for being offered a job which gave me the opportunity to give, and at the same time (unexpectedly) receive so much.

Last but not least I feel grateful for the immense beauty of nature. And for having the opportunity to experience this nature in so many ways. I feel deeply moved by the greatness. I especially cherish the moments I spend with others and by myself in nature: hiking in it, drinking from it, showering in it, sleeping in it. To me it was magic. At the same time, it has been hard to see the devastation in some places, like the immense amount of trees being cut down. It makes me question my own lifestyle and wonder how awareness in the world could grow.

Some of you might be wondering about the answer to my big question..: Do I want to emigrate to NZ..?

The answer is ‘yes’. I feel a connection with the country, the people and the lifestyle. I feel at home here and can see myself making the move. My feelings right now are very mixed. I feel very sad about leaving. On the other side I feel drawn to going back to the Netherlands, to see my family and friends and to give shape to new ideas in the field of my work. And I am looking forward to appelstroop, firm dark bread and iceskating.

While being here I realised happiness is not determined by where one lives, but depends largely on the presence and intensity of passions in one’s life. During the past year I met many different people with many different passions: hiking, skating, drawing, rugby, gardening, christianity, buddhism, painting, making drums, singing, outdoor sports, composting, vegan living... Personally I feel a true passion for my work, for nature and for a connection with God. These are things that make me smile when I open my eyes in the morning, wherever I am. I also learned that feeling and acting upon your passions is impossible when they are covered with fears. For example: one fear I had was to sleep all by myself in the bush. Not facing this fear would have kept me from longing to do any multidayhikes by myself. I trust that continuing the journey of facing and confronting fears will help me to choose for my passions.

In short: my passions might keep me in the Netherlands, or they might draw me back to New Zealand... The future will give the answers

Thank you for reading my blog. I wish you all a wonderful christmas and a new year filled with all the ingredients that make you smile and feel alive.

Love,

Nienke